Got G.R.I.T.? Trading Smartphones for Simple Ones
G. Get Ready!
Trading your kids’ smartphones for simple ones may feel like an impossible task, but take it from a mom who’s done it – the long-term benefits will be well worth it. Making the switch will certainly take some patience, perseverance and planning, and there are a number of things you can do to prepare. Read or listen to Dr. Victoria Dunckley’s Reset Your Child’s Brain or Clare Morell’s The Tech Exit. Gather support from friends and family, like neighbors, grandparents, teachers, coaches, or even family friends who might also be considering the switch. This is especially important for single parents, or parents who don’t have a particularly supportive partner. Purchase books, games, puzzles, or crafts to fill downtime. Schedule family activities like movie nights, park days, roller skating, or new hobbies. Post a family calendar to track activities and progress toward a lower-screen lifestyle.
R. Regulation & Response
Keeping your cool during this transition is one of the most important things parents can do. Picture your child as the fire – you don’t want to be the gasoline! Our kids’ brains are still developing, so we may need to “loan” them our fully developed frontal lobes for a bit. Model calm regulation and they’ll learn to do the same.
When emotions run high, talk less. As internationally-renowned psychotherapist Lynn Lyons reminds: “Parents should talk 85% less.” During emotional moments, your child’s brain won’t process long explanations or lectures. Instead, empathize and validate: “Of course this sucks!” “You must feel really alone in this.” “I’m so sorry that this feels so hard right now.” At the same time, stay firm and consistent.
I. Intention & Incentive
Taking away smartphones from your kids may be one of the hardest parenting moves you’ll make. Be intentional and remind yourself why you’re doing it, while staying grounded in the science behind it. You’re giving your child the gift of focus, regulation, and freedom from constant comparison. And keep in mind that it’s helpful to remind your children that parents make mistakes too. When smartphones and other portable digital technology started showing up back around 2012, most of us had no idea that it would be so addictive and distracting. Now that we know better, we are choosing to do better.
Incentives can help, too. When we made the switch, my husband and I offered our girls a small monetary reward that we deposited into their savings accounts each month while they had simple phones. We considered it a win-win, as they would now have more time offline to explore interests, develop critical skills, and foster real-world habits, all while saving money towards eventually being self-sufficient enough to leave the nest.
T. Timing & Time
Timing matters. Avoid times that are extra busy or stressful when making this change. No time will be perfect, but aim for one when your family has space to adapt. If possible, take a few days off from work during the switch. Having extra time to focus on supporting your kids will make the process smoother and more successful.
Though it may seem like a tremendous amount of time, energy, and even expense being put towards this low-screen lifestyle, the payoff is great. And many report that parenting actually becomes significantly easier over time, as children learn how to better regulate their own emotions, as well as entertain themselves with lower-dopamine, real-world activities. Our kids are being sucked into an online world that is harming them, while Big Tech benefits. It’s time for us to do whatever it takes to get them back because let’s face it - they’re worth it.
Let’s Change the Norm. Together.